Denise Ward
9 min readMay 24, 2023

Dossier on Two Menacing Trolls

I live with two Toms and they are rabidly anti-woman and patriarchal yet they think they are fabulous. I live about 5 miles out from Barton, a small town in Vermont. I speak and write about patriarchy a lot and I document it as much as it possibly can be. Because we don’t talk about it, it is let to “run amok” to everyone’s detriment. It is treated as criminal to speak about it, to criticise men on it but women do it too now because we’ve all been indoctrinated in patriarchal ways. We just were not aware of it before.

This is the kind of behavior that I have to live with and that many women live with and is, to me, totally unacceptable. Especially of men in their sixties who should know better. What kind of example are they showing?

When are we going to be done with these barbaric and idiotic ways? What is the point of having technology to make our lives easier when we have to be menaced by trolls in our everyday lives? And the world being dominated by men. Domination of any kind is intolerable and unacceptable. But by the most egregious and violent sex? Come on people, let’s get over this, let’s grow up.

Their goal is to drive me out of the house. I live quietly. I am a writer and a gardener. And I clean up after myself. I am helpful. But all that doesn’t matter. I have been here for three years. Tom has also. We’ve had problems but nothing like since Tommy came, about five months ago. He has mood swings worse than any woman on her period, and becomes hostile at the drop of a hat as well as intimidating. Tom of course bolsters him because any chance to get stuck into a woman in these times is taken up with gusto. It’s his favorite sport. He never looks so animated as when he’s calling me names just for existing. They can do anything but if a woman criticizes no matter how reasonably, they consider her the biggest criminal in the world. The two trolls cannot take any kind of criticism. They want to dominate and colonize and commander the whole place. They are too lazy to walk up the stairs so the upstairs is like a bit of a haven for me even though they constantly make noise — music, metal detectors, radio blaring, computer games. It’s all about their fun. That is all they care about. And yet they are always grumpy and bored-looking. They never look happy except when they are downstairs near my stairway talking about me viciously. It really sounds like we live in a house out of the movie “Deliverance”. Maybe not so bad. But close.

Wednesday May 10, 2023. 7.35pm — Tommy has his radio up so loud I can hear it in my room. It was so loud so I went to ask him to turn it down but he wasn’t even on the property, he went off on his bike somewhere. The speaker was at an open window and the sound was just blaring into the front yard. I am upstairs it was really invasive.
He’s bringing the chicken coop around the side to under my window and has. It looks like a jalopy and his car is a jalopy too, he had running the whole time — he has no thought of disturbing the peace of others.
He uses toxic smelling things to annoy me. Talks at the bottom of the steps to make noise. He bangs and slams things wherever he goes. He turns up the radio and has it on in his room and in the kitchen simultaneously. He doesn’t care that you don’t like it. He dumps things all over the garden and makes the place look like a war zone. He said once that I’m going to be leaving and this is what he meant by that — he’s going to drive me out.

Friday May 12, 2023. Tommy cleaned the green room because I had a haircut to do the next day. He made the room nice (though he messed it up originally and that’s why it had to be cleaned up) but he did a good job. He cleaned the floor using the worse smelling stuff imaginable and I had to open my windows because the smell was right through the house. It was late at night and for that smell to be in the house was asphyxiating. Ajax, my dog was sick the following morning as he is small and close to the floor. I didn’t notice if Tigger the cat was sick, he didn’t seem to be but Ajax was. The stuff he used is Fabuloso or something and it has a long-lasting smell (ie: toxic pollution)

Sunday May 14, 2023. I fill up the watering cans and Tommy empties them. I don’t know what he empties them on but he’s done it twice so far. So now I leave them empty because it means I have to fill them twice. He never refills them.

Monday May 14, 2023. Tommy mowed the lawn partially which is good because I asked him to leave the dandelions, but when I went out to the place I had my weeding chair, the chair was in pieces. He moved the red blanket underneath to keep the weeds down, the one by the asparagus and that was messed up too. It’s so disheartening to see everything I leave in the garden either moved or in pieces. I’m so fed up. When I asked him about it today he was bleary eyed and said he didn’t know anything about it. Yeah right. Said he is just waking up but he never listens or cares what I say anyway. It’s always got to be on his terms. He leaves his equipment in front of the stairs, cords remain in the wall even when he’s finished, half-done jobs here and there. He had a long blue tarp in front of the front door so you have to step over things whenever you need to get somewhere.

Monday May 14, 2023. Loud radio. I asked him to turn it down. He had it out of the window. I just don’t want to hear his noise. He went “oof”. It’s past 10pm and he had that blaring for an hour. Now it 2.35am and they’re both up at the heater in the greenroom because they can’t be left without warmth for five minutes. Sissies.And there is some talking on a phone, I think it’s Tom who looks like he’s on his deathbed but he always rises for a fight, he is warlike. I heard him talking to Mandy today and it was pathetic, he told her he cares about her and to call him whenever she needs to. But he does that because he is a gossip. And his life is so empty that any drama he just has to talk about. Darryl got out of control and frightened Mandy again and she was very upset. I like Mandy but she’s always around drama too. Little DJ I feel so sorry for, he doesn’t look happy at all. He must think what kind of a world is this. My heart aches for that child and I would love to adopt him. Of course Mandy wouldn’t adopt him out. But I’d still love to. I feel an affinity with him.

I don’t know what Tommy isthinking because he seems to want to do good but he leaves everything in such a dangerous and stupid way, leaving handles sticking out of boxes and things just chucked any which way. When it is put away neatly which he does sometimes, he always leaves a bit sticking out so you can’t close a door, or he leaves things so you have to move them to get to something else. He never puts things back in it’s place, there is no place for anything here anymore.
He bangs things and makes crashing sounds wherever he goes and it fills the air with anxiety because they are the sounds people make when they’re angry. He has no awareness of others or he does it to grind it into their faces to say “I’m here, so there”. I really don’t know. So often men are like toddlers.

May 24, 2023 3.30pm. I heard electronic sounds constantly. I went downstairs to see, I thought it was Tom on his computer. He said it’s Tommy using some metal device or something. Yes he had a metal detector and was scanning the walls. I asked if he could turn it down because we can hear it throughout the house. He said what are you writing nasty notes to me for. He was referring to this morning when I went downstairs to fix up Ajax’s food. I hardly go downstairs because the two of them commandeer it and make it feel really hostile. I saw a couple of signs on the floor saying it’s dog piss that’s been there 2 days and another one 3 days. I wrote back saying I had to move his tarp which was all over my strawberries and I don’t come downstairs because it’s like an alligator pond. (I meant to say alligator pit but I’m too nice, I couldn’t think of anything nasty enough!) Now he’s downstairs speaking loudly so I can hear him deliberately, “oh yeah she has to go. She has to go bye bye’s”. He tries to sound menacing. Tom sides with him. Tom is the new sounding board when before it was Tom who used to use others as his sounding board. Now Tom hardly speaks and and he’s Tommy’s little lap dog.
4.08 pm. To gang up because he’s so mature, Tom started playing his music loudly downstairs. I closed my door. Tommy was previously banging things and saying things about me, threateningly so I could hear. I have to learn to ignore that.
4.19pm I hear Tom trying to talk over the loud music to Tommy! They crack me up. What’s so funny is Tom’s music is going to drive Tommy up the wall. They are both going to shoot each other in the foot.

May 25, 2023 11pm. What a day. Tommy started his car and looked like he was going to move this like tiny house that he brought here supposedly to be used as a chicken coop. Then he was marauding around the yard, he took the hose I used to water the plants around to the front yard. I’m not going to bother doing the vegetables this year as I’m leaving soon and there will be no one here to tend to them anyway. He had machines going, he’s got a few here, a motor bike, a 4-wheel drive, and his car which is like a jalopy. He and Tom were scheming and talking downstairs when they were inside in loud tones. They do this to intimidate me. Tom was talking to a friend on his phone really loudly and saying the woman he lives with is a real bitch. I heard him say that the other night to to his friend Chris who could actually see through what he was saying. He’s actually showing his friends what a rabid madman he is. And this is a good thing. We need to know who are the ones who intend harm.

Now it’s 11pm and I heard a buzzing sound. Tommy again, he was drilling. Who knows what he’s up to but when I opened my door and turned on the stairwell lights, he immediately stopped. Menacingly. Then he started dragging something loudly. It’s like being in an Alfred Hitchock movie.

I wrote to Dave and the two Toms and one each of their friends to broadcast what is being done to me. I can’t just sit like a lemming and take this. Yesterday I noticed the sauerkraut I made was no longer in the fridge. Tommy throws things out whenever he feels like it. He’s got his stuff all over the house. You can’t even move on the deck some days, it’s totally stuffed with his hoardings. So much for enjoying the deck. You can’t walk through and he puts things in my way deliberately to be a nuisance. So when I asked him about the sauerkraut this morning, he said it stunk. I said you can’t throw things out without asking and what if I threw out your toxic smelling stuff (which he uses repeatedly just to annoy me and one time my dog got sick from it) and he viciously said “You just try it” while mumbling off into his room. I said “oh it’s ok for you to do but not anyone else” while he continued to mumble away. Truly this reminds me of those movies you see from WWII where the Nazis would take over a house and throw their weight around. It’s now 11.43pm and he’s got the radio on again loud enough so I hear it from my room. It just stopped, at 12.11pm. It probably drove him batty too. Priceless!

The only thing I could think of to do was to write to all of them. And this is how I feel we should do things like this because if we do nothing, it will only bolster the sociopaths.

I will update as this plays out.